Thursday, February 20, 2014

Black Is Not A Color... And Nine Other Really Stupid Things I Hear All Too Often

10. No Two Snowflakes Are Exactly Alike
I've been hearing this one since I was a kid and I always have the exact same response. Go out into any snow storm, raise your finger into the air and quickly point to a random snowflake and say "this one!" and then jump your finger instantly to another and say "that one!" - and then say "now prove that those two were not identical...and then multiply that by every snowstorm... ever. I don't care what the mathematical predictability is or the complexity of the crystals is just simply impossible to prove with 100% accuracy.

9. Tie Your Shoelaces Or You'll Fall On Your Face.
This has never happened to me, not once, ever...and I walk around with my shoelaces untied all of the time. An old woman in a grocery store just last week, said "sonny, tie your shoelaces" - I said "Or I'll fall on my face?" she smiled and said "you never know". Still hasn't happened.

8. Don't Eat That Or It Will Spoil Your Dinner.
Nothing I have ever eaten, whether it was ice cream, cake, or a steak sandwich, has ever spoiled my dinner. One time there was a cigarette butt in my mashed potatoes at a diner in NJ...I sent the potatoes back and ate a plate of fries - no problem. We did get the meal for free though.

7. Don't Swim After You Eat.
A myth that just isn't true. I have eaten plenty of meals, gone swimming, and lived to tell about it.
More accurate advice would be "don't swim in shark infested waters", this one at least makes sense.

6. The Hair Of The Dog.
"The 16th century English dramatist John Heywood suggested that the best way to recover from a hangover was to have the 'hair of the dog that bit you'", which means waking up and having another drink. "The old wives' tale and the expression is a spin-off from the misguided notion that you could recover from a dog bite by plucking a hair from the dog and holding it to the wound. Unfortunately, the advice doesn't work any better for hangovers than it does for dog bites." 

You would think that by now this would be common sense. My attitude is that if you drink too much, the hangover should be a reminder not to do it again (at least for a while) and that the smartest solution is to take two Advil, drink plenty of water, and don't forget the feeling the next time you set out to have a few.
"From the perspective of sugar metabolism, alcohol may cause a blood sugar spike, resulting in a hypoglycemic awakening "hangover".Consuming more alcohol might be the quickest way to ingest more calories that quickly convert to sugar to raise the body's blood sugar, as well as lifting the fainting and headaches often associated with low blood sugar.

One common feature of hangovers (and excessive alcohol consumption in general) is nausea caused by the irritating corrosive chemical properties of ethanol on the human gastrointestinal mucosa, rather than a buildup of bloodborne toxins; this effect is actually increased by further alcohol consumption, and would likely result in increased damage (and more nausea/vomiting) if more alcohol is ingested before the mucosa can regenerate itself. In these cases, "hair of the dog" would actually be highly harmful and likely make things worse" - From Wikipedia

5. Watching TV Will Ruin Your Eyesight.
Not true. What parents should say to kids watching most of the programming available is that "Watching TV will make you dumber and most likely fat as well." which is a far better warning.

4. If You Shave Your Hair Will Grow Back Thicker.
This one cracks me up. If this were true by the time we were fifty we would all look like hedgehogs.

3. Put A Jacket On Or You'll Catch Pneumonia
Catch it from where? Is Pneumonia hanging outside my front door waiting for me to go outside and then say "GOTCHA, you didn't have a jacket on!" There is no science behind this one at all. No evidence, none, that wet hair, cold weather, or going outside without a jacket can cause Pneumonia. The best advice? If you see someone with Pneumonia, stay the hell away from them or you can catch Pneumonia.

2. Black Is Not A Color
I had to tie this post into Art somehow! I don't care what the science is on how you see or don't see black and white. The absence of color, it reflects all of the other colors...whatever, that's all great if you happen to be a scientist, but it has absolutely no effect on learning how to paint. None, it's just plain silly to think so. If you are a painter, black is a color, and I can prove it. Look to the right. See, it's a color. I found this on the shelf next to all of the other colors! Need more? OK. Go outside and burn something, anything, and then go inside with the pile of ash and add some vegetable oil to it, and let me know what color you get - hint it won't be taupe.You want to know something that isn't a color, Cotton Candy. Cotton Candy is something you get on the boardwalk and at the circus, and it is wonderful if you don't eat too much...but it's not a freakin color. Black is - end of story.

1. If You Don't Stop That, You Could Go Blind
Half of the people reading this know for a fact - this isn't true :)


  1. LOL! Fun Stuff.

    #8 Applies more the older you get and your metabolism starts slowing down. Speaking from experience.

    #1 Only half the people? ; )

    1. Funny Jose!
      #8 - Ha! Not mine yet, I have to keep telling myself "you're not hungry, don't eat that"...constant fight.
      #1 - I didn't want to assume...:)

  2. I cant see, it's so black in here.. I'm blind!... I'm BLIND!!
    Oh wait, my computer was not on. Everything is OK,... I'm fine thanks,...
    my bad,... err.. Black is a color,... :)